Winner of the 12th Annual International Latino Book Awards!!

I am very proud to share with you the latest event that took place this past May 25 at the Javits Center in New York City, where the 2010 International Latino Book Awards Winners were announced. This major event showcases the diversity and importance of our multicultural community.

My latest book Parents Who Cheat received First Place.

12th Annual International Latino Book Awards Winner

Best Parenting/Family Book - English

Parents Who Cheat. How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their parents Are Unfaithful - Dr. Ana Nogales - Health Communications, Inc.

Latino Literacy Now is a non-profit organization that supports and promotes literacy and literary excellence within the Latino community. They created the Latino Book Awards back in 1999 in recognition of the many positive contributions being made to Latino literature by publishers and writers worldwide.  

I feel very proud and I am glad that many people is reading and using this book as an aid in dealing with problems that may have originated with a parent’s unfaithfulness. In my book I also suggest ways that parents can minimize the negative effects of infidelity on a child.

Thank you all and I as always welcome your comments.

Remember to buy a copy for your friends and family from Amazon today!

-Dr. Ana Nogales.

A Family Crisis

A few days ago, I was asked to give my opinion regarding my latest book "Parents Who Cheat" and the so called "Family Secrets".

Can partners and parents really keep secrets from each other and from their children - or will those secrets eventually surface and become even more painful? Is it always best to tell the truth, even if it means hurting your partner-and your child?


When infidelity results in a family crisis, I strongly believe that children are entitled to know what happened. Shielding them from the truth only adds to their sense of unease and confusion. With that said, it can be tricky for parents to decide how much they should reveal to a child.

Obviously, children don't need to know details of an affair, and what they are told will depend on their age. But children should be informed of the general facts, so that their feelings of confusion and distress can be validated and dealt with. Parents can explain that adults may make serious mistakes, even hurt the people they love.
Children who are told the truth in an age-appropriate way will fare far better than those who discover the secret on their own or are forced to live with unconfirmed suspicions about those they love.
 
- Dr. Ana Nogales

Aggression in Children

Raul is nine years old, is in the fourth grade, is a good student, and is the nicest boy. But, Raul’s mother doesn’t know what she is going to do about his behavior at school. She says, “I can hardly believe it; at home he is a quiet child, he does his homework—although without much interest—and he plays like any normal child. But, in school, Raul doesn’t miss an opportunity to hit someone. The teacher calls me constantly and nothing I do to correct him makes any difference.” The first conclusion we can make is that Raul has some self-esteem problems that he compensates with aggressive behavior. For years, this has been the classic point of view on aggressive behavior. However, we can draw further conclusions if we learn more of Raul’s personal history. Raul is the only son of divorced parents. His mom decided to leave his dad because the dad was violent. “His philosophy was to settle everything by hitting,” she told me, “and not only did I get tired of this, neither could I tolerate Raul being a victim of his dad’s frustrations.” With this clearer view of Raul’s life, we can understand various other explanations for Raul’s relationship with other children at the school. • Raul learned to be aggressive from his father. • Raul inherited this condition from his father. • Raul identifies with his father, who has been absent for more than a year, but whom he keeps in his imagination. • Raul never learned to control his impulses. • Raul behaves well at home because he is afraid that his mom will do the same thing to him that she did to his dad. • Raul is angry with his dad because he was the victim of his aggressiveness and he displaces the anger onto his schoolmates.

Though we can conclude that a child who has been the victim of physical abuse suffers from low self esteem, low self esteem doesn’t always manifest itself in aggressive behavior. Much to the contrary, self esteem is also expressed in inhibition, timidity, difficulty in communicating, a tendency toward isolation, difficulty in asserting oneself, and inappropriate feelings of guilt. On the other hand, there are children who have high self esteem, but who are aggressive. We would think that this results from hidden personal insecurities. But, if we inquire into these cases, we will not find the characteristic inhibitions of low self esteem. To the contrary, we find that the narcissism that causes them to feel superior to others stems from being treated as special and privileged with emotional gratification in being admired by others, concluded Dr. Roy Baumeister of Case Western Reserve University. In this case, aggression takes the form of one person “putting a second person in his place” because the second person has questioned the elevated opinion the first person has of himself. Many of the previous explanations apply to Raul, except that we must understand the dynamics of his parents. His mother decided to separate, even though everyone told her she shouldn’t take him away from his father. She decided that her primary responsibility was to protect her son from aggression. But, she always wondered whether she had done the right thing, especially when she listened to the recriminations of her family. This mom developed the attitude of ‘my poor son’ and tolerated his crying and tantrums, blaming herself for them, thereby accepting Raul’s aggressive behavior. It is certain that the family and society play important roles in forming the behavior of children. Those who think that the world around them is hostile (whether this is reality or the product of television and movies), have to react by developing their power and physical strength over others. The solution to consider is to reinforce the identity of children, showing them respect so they learn respect, self control, and discipline—elements not only essential to high self esteem, but also to living with others.

- Dr. Ana Nogales

Empowering Women Through the Concept of Abundance

The National Hispanic Business Women Association has organized an epowering event entitled "Behavioral Finance". I will be Key Speaker and I'd love for you to come and join us.

Here the details:

Thursday Nov. 12 @ Noon (registration begins at 11:30am)

The Turnip Rose; 300 South Flower Street, Orange, CA.

Seating is limited!!

- Dr. Ana Nogales.

Sex, Love and the Wise Latina

I am very excited to invite you all to my next event: Sex, Love and the Wise Latina. I will be speaker for the Wise Latina Society.

The event will take place on November 7 from 1-3pm at the Latino Museum of History, art and Culture (LATC) , in downtown Los Angeles. Seating is limited.

I'd love to see you all there and enjoy this Inaugural Event.

- Dr. Ana Nogales.

Why Should We Laugh?

The song says "it's better to laugh than to cry."

Image by superk8nyc via Flickr

It may be hard to believe, but laughter actually effects our body's capacity to create immunity to different diseases, according to a study by the University of California, Loma Linda. It was shown that the effects of laughter decrease the level of cortisol, which suppresses the immune system. Those effects also raise the activity of the cells that combat and destroy abnormal cells and double the level of plasma that strengthens the immune system.

- Dr. Ana Nogales