The key is to know when to give up...

One of the most difficult life changes one can make is to break away from a long term relationship. Even if the reasons for the break-up far outweigh those for staying together, loneliness and fear of the unknown can hold us back. Regardless of the unhappiness, incompatibility, betrayal, or even abuse that motivates one partner to contemplate leaving the other, it is still common to cling to the slimmest possibility of a happier future. For many of us on the brink of a break-up, when we look at our mate, we see not only the person we know is not right for us, but also the one we once thought was "the one." It's not easy to give up on that hopeful image, even in the most hopeless of circumstances. And even when both parties agree that dissolving the relationship is the best course to take, neither is likely to avoid the emotional pain that follows a break-up. Which is why some people put off making the decision until the situation becomes even more unbearable.

So how do we make such an important decision? Is there a general guide one can follow to make this so needed change any easier? It may sound simplistic, but one key to making a change is to finally give up on what hasn't worked in the past. When you reach the point where you can say with conviction, "It is impossible to make this relationship work, and I refuse to be unhappy any longer" you'll discover that taking decisive action becomes almost automatic. Loretta, a client of mine who had endured years of emotional abuse from her husband, got to the point where she told herself, "I've had enough unhappiness. From now on, I will own my life-I will not hand it over to anyone else!" In order for Loretta to arrive at that decision, she had to firmly declare that she was giving up the struggle to hold onto an unhealthy relationship. Once she made that assertion, she was free to consider what she really wanted from her life and to make new choices.

The key is to know when to give up. When we are in tune with our emotions and our intuition, making the decision to stay or to leave is not so difficult. It will be obvious when we are expending energy on a relationship that has no hope of working out, and that it is time to grow in a new direction. By turning away from a relationship that holds no promise of happiness or fulfillment, we free ourselves to consider new possibilities. And if we are open to new paths, life will always provide them.
 
- Dr. Ana Nogales

How are your new year resolutions doing so far?

It is close to the end of February and some are already dropping off their new year resolutions. Reasons vary, but it has to do mostly with the fact that the big majority of those "resolutions" are too vague or not realistic at all.

But those resolutions that have to do with the inner you should prevail.

I invite you to focus on something more possitive and way more effective: the invigorating process of self-discovery. Let yourself be amazed by your own journey, by the creativity, struggles, and surprises along the way. Take some time as our new year begins to think about how you came to be the person you are today, an evolving individual with new passions, dreams, and awareness. It is OK if you rather choose the first few days of the month, or the first few days of the week. Just set aside some time to launch and think about: What made last year’s changes possible? What chances did you take and what efforts did you make in order to pursue a new course that really mattered to you? How did a change of heart or a shift in attitude play a part? What caused you to draw upon new sources of inner strength? And what will you ask of yourself this year as you undertake new challenges?

While we sometimes lose sight of this core truth, it is an enduring one: the most profound changes come from within.

- Dr. Ana Nogales

Why Should We Laugh?

The song says "it's better to laugh than to cry."

Image by superk8nyc via Flickr

It may be hard to believe, but laughter actually effects our body's capacity to create immunity to different diseases, according to a study by the University of California, Loma Linda. It was shown that the effects of laughter decrease the level of cortisol, which suppresses the immune system. Those effects also raise the activity of the cells that combat and destroy abnormal cells and double the level of plasma that strengthens the immune system.

- Dr. Ana Nogales

Latina Power
by Dra. Ana Nogales

Using 7 strengths you already have to create the success you deserve.

Available in English and Spanish language editions, Latina Power! shows Latinas how to recognize and maximize seven attributes they already possess to enhance their lives and bring them closer to their dreams.
The uplifting message of this book encourages Latinas to move beyond expected roles and become the women they wish to be simply by embracing seven traits naturally ingrained into them by Latino culture, including:
Espíritu Creativo. The Aguantadora's Passionate Determination. The Comadre's Networking Ability. The Diplomática's Discretion. The Atrevida's Courage. The Malabarista's Balance. La Reina's Confidence and Strength.
Dr. Nogales incorporates an interactive, personal element into each chapter, including a self-assessment quiz to determine how strong or weak each attribute is in the Latina reader's own personality, and exercises to improve each trait. Also featured throughout the guide are personal stories exemplifying each strength, as told to the author by Latinas from a wide variety of backgrounds, including novelist Isabel Allende, Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez, and many others. Prescriptive and encouraging, Latina Power! is certain to benefit countless Latinas.