The melting pot

When we enter into a serious relationship with someone, we are attracted to the positive qualities in a potential partner, we feel passionately towards them. We often ignore or fail to see any negative attributes, and we fall in love.

But there is something else that influences our attraction to a prospective mate: our need to love and be loved. We also want someone with whom we can share our dreams for the future, someone we think of as our closest friend?

However, is the close connection that you wanted still possible if your partner abuses you? If he verbally, emotionally, or physically hurts you, can you still hope to have a good relationship?

Believe it or not, for many, this question is not so easy to answer.

I think it may be helpful if you can imagine yourself stirring a pot in your kitchen. Into this pot, you have put all the positive qualities your partner possesses, or once possessed. Perhaps generosity, passion, and a great sense of humor are his positive traits. Maybe it is the way he used to make you feel when you first got together: loved, valued, respected. Now, add into the pot the way he treats you when he gets angry: the violent threats, the disrespectful name-calling and abusive language, the slaps or punches.

Stirring those things into the pot is like stirring poison into your meal. Even if the ingredients are healthy and delicious to begin with, once the poison has been added, the meal cannot be eaten. The poison—the abuse, the violence, and the hurt—has spoiled everything else and if you partake of what is now in the pot, it will harm you.

Domestic abuse can never be part of a good relationship. When fear, intimidation, and cruelty are present in a relationship, can you really call that love?
 
- Dr. Ana Nogales

Latina Power
by Dra. Ana Nogales

Using 7 strengths you already have to create the success you deserve.

Available in English and Spanish language editions, Latina Power! shows Latinas how to recognize and maximize seven attributes they already possess to enhance their lives and bring them closer to their dreams.
The uplifting message of this book encourages Latinas to move beyond expected roles and become the women they wish to be simply by embracing seven traits naturally ingrained into them by Latino culture, including:
Espíritu Creativo. The Aguantadora's Passionate Determination. The Comadre's Networking Ability. The Diplomática's Discretion. The Atrevida's Courage. The Malabarista's Balance. La Reina's Confidence and Strength.
Dr. Nogales incorporates an interactive, personal element into each chapter, including a self-assessment quiz to determine how strong or weak each attribute is in the Latina reader's own personality, and exercises to improve each trait. Also featured throughout the guide are personal stories exemplifying each strength, as told to the author by Latinas from a wide variety of backgrounds, including novelist Isabel Allende, Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez, and many others. Prescriptive and encouraging, Latina Power! is certain to benefit countless Latinas.