Just by hearing about it, I had a terrible nightmare

Recently, due to the presentation of my play "Don't call me Baby!", I was asked in an interview about how a became involved in this cause.

It wasn't until I was asked to speak about human trafficking that I realized I knew nothing about it. I turned down the speaking engagement; but soon thereafter, I had a nightmare in which my daughter and I were sold into slavery, and it hit me that this could happen to me, to my daughters or granddaughters, or to any other woman.

I began to learn more about the subject, and the more I learned the more horrified I became.

I started treating victims of human trafficking in my practice, hearing their anguished stories about the hell they had gone through. Victims of sexual slavery are forced into prostitution, escort services, online pornography, and strip clubs. They live in constant panic, threatened with punishment if they attempt to escape, often tortured if they try.
 
- Dr. Ana Nogales

We all long for a special connection

In talking about new serious relationships, I have mentioned how we are attracted to the positive qualities in a potential partner and fail to see any negative attributes: we fall in love. Each of us longs for a special closeness to one other person. We may be pulled in by an intense physical attraction, by the possibility to be deeply connected to someone who shares our values, who understands us, who treats us with kindness, and who will offer compassion and emotional support.

But is the close connection that you wanted still possible if your partner abuses you? If he or she verbally, emotionally, or physically hurts you, can you still hope to have a good relationship? For many, this question is not so easy to answer. I think it may be helpful if you can imagine yourself stirring a pot in your kitchen. Into this pot, you have put all the positive qualities your partner possesses, or once possessed. Perhaps generosity, passion, and a great sense of humor are the positive traits. Maybe it is the way your partner used to make you feel when you first got together: loved, valued, respected. Now, add into the pot the way your partner treats you when he or she gets angry: the violent threats, the disrespectful name-calling and abusive language, the slaps or punches. Stirring those things into the pot is like stirring poison into an appetizing meal. Even if the ingredients are healthy and delicious to begin with, once the poison has been added, the meal cannot be eaten. The poison-the abuse, the violence, and the hurt-has spoiled everything else in the pot. If you partake of what is now in the pot, it will harm you.

- Dr. Ana Nogales

What is going on?

Mexico and Guatemala are two of the main countries were victims are kidnapped and exported to a different country, human trafficking criminals use these countries to distribute and cross over to other places, corruption makes it possible for them to pay a 'fair' price. Brazil is the second country whose women become prostitutes mainly in Europe, followed by the Dominican Republic, where women are sold to Nordic countries, Spain, Italy, and Austria. Colombians are illegally traded in Spain and Hong Kong. Argentina and Mexico offer sexual tourism in their coastal and tourist areas with women and children from the Mexico, Dominican Republic and Paraguay. Costa Rica has the greatest affluence of sexual tourism by prostituting about 5,000 children from many different countries. In the United States things don't look any better: about 100,000 and 400,000 children are sexually exploited each year. One out of three children that run away from home end up as prostitutes in less than 48 hours.

Other victims of human trafficking leave their homes looking to meet their fiancé, some mysterious person they have met on the Internet, thru newspapers or magazines that present beautiful pictures of their promising boyfriends and their fancy homes. But when they arrive to their new ‘home’, they find out that those promises were not real, and that their fiancé is not real either. They are sold and abused sexually and physically. They are often forced to take drugs to be easier to control and to be transferred from one place to another from one city to another. Many times victims of human trafficking are not aware of what country they are in or for how long they have been there. Victims are put to work 15 to 20 hours a day serving and pleasing 10 to 35 men a day, men of all races, ages, and conditions. If they become pregnant, women are forced to unsafe clandestine abortions; if they become sick they are abandoned or sold to a lower trader.

Many people ask how it is possible for those women to be cheated on so easily. Traficants seduce them by telling them nice words and making them believe that they can have an easier life, that they deserve better, and that they can provide and care for them and their families. They leave their homes with the firm intention to work hard and escape misery. It never comes to their mind that they may end up as sexual slaves. Others apply and take promising jobs on newspapers to work in the US or Europe. Teen-age girls feel forced to take on the opportunity to get a work-permit and make some easy money as dancers, masseurs, house keepers, elder sitters, manufacturing, or hostess at luxurious restaurants. They all feel it is their responsibility to help and support their families by working in a country that might offer better opportunities.

In recent years, the US implemented important laws that differentiate prostitution and human traffic, allowing victims to remain free even after their kidnappers are pronounced guilty. But this is not enough. We all have a piece of responsibility and education is key in forming stronger men and women that acknowledge respect and freedom.

- Dr. Ana Nogales

Let the numbers speak...

Sex slavery is more common today than ever before, and with the illegal traffic of weapons, the second criminal industry in the world (drug traffic is number one), it profits approximately 7 billion dollars each year. This trend has become an organized crime, it is now a borderless mega-business. People are sold and bought in any country, bringing into the game other crimes like money laundering, falsification of documents, illegal immigration, and drug dealing, among some others.

Latin-American countries have softer laws, less supervision, high levels of poverty and corruption. In many of these countries, about 40 million twelve-year-old children are sexual slaves; several of them live on the streets after being abandoned or sold by their parents, or after escaping the violence or sexual abuse in their own homes. By prostituting themselves, these children find the money they need to satisfy their primary needs and also their addictions.

Approximately, 900,000 people worldwide suffer the cruelty of human trafficking each year. The majority of those are women and children. Approximately 50,000 people come into the United States to work on strenuous physical jobs or become sex slaves, most of them are minors and 10,000 come from Latin America.
If we let the numbers speak we will find the truth that hides just beneath the surface.

- Dr. Ana Nogales

I wanted to follow her steps...

Before commenting on this topic I want to share with you a real story from one of my patients. I believe it can give you a better understanding of what I will be talking about in my next posts.

Susy Keely/Older_Sister

“I missed my sister. She came to the US with the intention of getting a job and help our family. I always admired her for the decision and I wanted to follow her steps. When I ran into the man that offered her a job in America, I asked him to do the same for me. I was 13 years old and I was very scared to leave home. I didn’t want to leave my mom, but I had made the decision. They facilitated everything to me and I felt secure and protected. By the time I made it to the border, that man raped me and kept telling me that this was going to be my new life. I worked as a masseur in a specialty shop with many other girls like me. But at the back office there were private rooms for the ‘premier’ service, where we had to fulfill the client’s wishes. Other girls, the pretty ones, were able to choose their clients; the less fortunate, like me, we had to take and serve whoever came into the shop. I had to stay at that place and work to pay for the many expenses of my travel from Mexico, plus all my current expenses for food and shelter. My bill kept growing every day.”

This is not a movie, is a real life story! If you think that slavery was abolished by the end of the XIX century, think again. Today, in 2010, there are more than 27 million people that live, in one way or another, in slavery.

- Dr. Ana Nogales

Alcohol And Rape On Campus

A female patient of mine who was a university student told me about a terrible ordeal she had recently gone through. Wanting to relax after a tense week of studying for exams, she accepted an invitation to go out for a drink with one of her male classmates. Social drinking is accepted in our culture—especially on college campuses—and this young woman felt that there was nothing unusual about meeting a friend for a drink. Things, however, did not go as she planned. After a few drinks, she and her friend, whom she thought of “as a brother,” went back to her apartment. He followed her into her bedroom and raped her.

Unfortunately, my patient’s story is not unique. On college campuses, 70% of rape cases occur due to the effects of alcohol—in spite of all the information, prevention guidelines, and advice provided by parents and campus officials, and 80% of rapes are committed by someone who is well-known to the victim. Alcohol slows down reflexes, eliminates inhibitions, and makes people act in a manner that is completely different from when they are sober. Although my patient’s classmate called her the following day apologizing and stating that he was ashamed of his behavior, the damage had already been done. The effects of her trauma (and his remorse) will last forever. The young man in this case was somewhat unusual in that he felt guilty after the fact. Other students in his circumstance often tell themselves that they are not responsible because the woman was drunk and seemed to go along with it, or that the she should have said “no” more emphatically.

The consequences of irresponsible drinking can last a lifetime.There is no doubt that alcohol is responsible for many crimes and is also associated with poor decisions and serious accidents involving young people. The dangers of drinking among young people can affect men as well as women. A man may be sent to jail, be responsible for conceiving a child with a woman he hardly knows, or contract a sexually transmitted disease. Although social drinking may be a fashionable option, it is not always a wise one.

When young people make the decision to drink, moderation is the best rule—as is associating with trustworthy friends who will never pressure you into dangerous intimacy. For young women, additional protection methods are advisable. Self-defense courses that teach women to defend themselves against potential assault may be the most practical classes they ever take.

Intergenerational dialogue is crucial

Today, sadly, there are too many women whose voices are silenced due to discrimination and violence against women. Sometimes we keep our stories to ourselves because we don't want to burden our children with the pain of the past. But such silence doesn't allow the younger generation to learn from what their elders went through--and to strive to create change. This is why it is so crucial for grandmothers and mothers to reach out to the younger generations and share their stories, however painful they may be, so that our personal and cultural histories are not lost. And it is equally important for younger women to keep asking their mothers and grandmothers to relay the stories of their lives. As we engage in this process of intergenerational dialogue, we can begin to connect to each other at the soul level--and work together toward the goal of women's empowerment.

--Dr. Nogales