Leading a cultural double life

Whether we were born in the United States or have lived here only a short time, as Latinos we inhabit two distinct worlds.

One is the world of our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents. This is the culture we hold in our hearts. The culture that embraces large families and close ties to aunts and uncles, cousins, and sisters-in-law. The culture that values tradition, respect for our elders, loyalty to old friends, and a sense of belonging to the community.

We also dwell in the multicultural United States, an environment so diverse that it is almost impossible to define. It is a world where the opportunity to pursue your dream is granted to every citizen. Where striking out on your own is hailed as heroic. Where women and men are more equal than anywhere else in the world. And where the individual is nearly always valued over the group.

Many of us grapple with the feeling that we have two separate identities.

We sense that when we move from one “world” to the other, we must somehow alter parts of ourselves in order to be accepted. And we wonder what we’re gaining and what we’re giving up in the process, how this “cultural double life” affects our relationships and the well-being of our families.

In Latino cultures, family, including extended family, is always our first priority. In mainstream American culture, family is defined as “nuclear” or immediate. For Latinos, feeling part of our community is an important aspect of our identity; whereas our acculturated self tells us that independence and doing our own thing are more important than group involvement.

As Latinos, we tend to be more formal, because formality is a way of showing pride in ourselves. But as Americans, informality makes us more approachable. Elders are treated with respect and reverence in Latino families, while youth and vitality are celebrated in American life. And when it comes to relationships, traditional male-female roles are more prevalent in Latino cultures; whereas more equitable roles for men and women are generally acceptable to most Americans.

As Latino-Americans, our cultural identity influences every aspect of our personal lives. The social customs in our country of origin; the roles we learned from our parents; the attitudes of our grandparents, which we may disavow but which are still with us on a subconscious level — each of these factors affects who we are and how we relate to the people we love.

Of course each of us has a distinct personality, family history, and set of personal concerns. But as Latinos living in the U.S., we also lead, at least to some degree, a cultural double life.

As most of us realize on an almost daily basis, living in two worlds at once can be challenging. But I believe this fascinating double life also enriches us, giving us greater opportunities to expand who we are. After all, why would we want to lose either the Latino or the American traits that combine to make us uniquely Latino-American?

- Dr. Ana Nogales