The Benefit of Loneliness

Latinos in the United States complain a lot about loneliness. For many, loneliness is very real because we live far away from our family, from our country and from our customs. But loneliness is not always negative. To begin with, we must distinguish loneliness from the fact of living alone. These are two completely different situations.

In a cultural sense, Latinos interpret living alone as loneliness because we are used to living with or near our large extended families. We're used to the presence of others and sharing our lives with others.

This is often because we don't leave home until it's time to form one of our own, even when we go to the university. And when we are alone, we feel that something's missing. On the other hand, in the U.S. it's expected that after your eighteenth birthday, you should be prepared to be self-sufficient, to continue your studies in another city or to make a living without anyone's help. Living alone is thus a lifestyle associated with autonomy and the pride of being independent.

It is becoming more and more common for young people to live alone, especially since they're tending to delay getting married. American society accepts this way of living, without pressuring its young adults to find their life partner by a certain age. It's possible that younger generations will benefit from delaying marriage in that they will be more mature when they do take a partner, and they will avoid marriage if conditions are not suitable. In turn, this could result in decreased rates of divorce and fewer children raised in single families.

Latinos are used to thinking of loneliness as bad company, or as a bad counselor. However, loneliness can also become our friend, because it can give us information to which we otherwise wouldn't have access.

- Dr. Ana Nogales